“Holiday blues”make as much sense as the oxymoron “jumbo shrimp”. People tend to “get the blues” because they perceive everyone else is having a great time and they are the only ones who are feeling sad. However, this is not really true. Holidays are difficult for many people, for many reasons.

In our culture, one of the reasons is that, rather than allowing the holidays to be be times to celebrate religious or patriotic occasions,or to enjoy family traditions surrounding these occasions, or simply to enjoy a day of rest, the holidays have been have been co-opted by the media, corporations, and the”marketplace.” Subtly and seductively, we are encouraged to show love, dedication, even religious devotion through “things” that remind us of the occasion….How spiritually enhancing are plastic dreidels or chocolate “Easter” bunnies, or “I love Jesus” t-shirts, or even the beloved Christmas tree?

When holidays were “holy days,” people came together…whether in places of worship or each others’ homes to commemorate and celebrate together the event in religious history with prayer, perhaps a sharing of what the day means for them, telling stories, and, often, enjoying a meal. Celebrating an event together was a form of celebration one another and the relationships of kinship or friendship that bonded us.

Family/cultural traditions and rituals evolved, some strongly related to the religious aspects of the day, some “derivatives” of the sacred…the dreidel at Hanukkah, the Christmas tree, which originally represented the tree of life and the tree of the Cross on which Jesus died, hot cross buns, commemorating Jesus’ rising from the dead on Easter. Religious traditions, celebrated by people coming together as a faith community, were times to “be with” others, not challenges to our imagination to find the best gift, spend the most money, rush out at the last minute to make sure everyone they knew got a gift.

Perhaps, if we reflect on the meaning of holidays, we will recognize and celebrate the gifts we have been given. If there are people we love and care about, our sharing with them, can make holidays “holy days” again. easter lamb ?How wonderful if every day could be a sacred one.

But, for those of us for whom holydays, or holidays, have become burdensome and painful, and for whom it is hard to engender a feeling of joy, there are ways to enjoy the day, or, at the least, to make it more bearable. One surprising thing about people and holidays is that, even though most holidays arrive at about the same time every year, people are surprised that that the day comes so fast and that they never seem to be prepared for it. Often we find ourselves desperately trying to find something to do and someone share it with.

We can diminish the impact of holiday blues by thinking ahead and making plans before the blues set in. You might first want to consider whether you would like to spend the day alone or with other people. Then you might think of a few things you would enjoy doing…or where you would enjoy being. If you think you would like to be with other people, it is important to contact them well ahead of time, first of all, so that they will know that you would like them to share the day with you and, secondly, so that they can put it on the calendar.

So, in the fall, you might begin thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas/Hanukkah (maybe even Halloween!). In late winter or early spring, you might consider what to do at Easter or Passover (or even St. Patrick’s Day) It is important to discuss how you might like to spend the day. If you were brought up in a religious tradition, but no longer practice your religion, but would like to incorporate some kind of “ritual experience” into your day, perhaps a Solstice celebration, a Santa Claus luncheon, an Easter parade, hat contest, bunny hop.

You might simply get tickets to a show you want to see but haven’t gotten around to yet. What you choose to do or not to do…at “holiday blues” times is not the most important thing. What is important is that, on these days, you gift yourself in a healthy way. Enjoy celebrating another day of life.